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18 Mohurram 1437 A.H.- November 1, 2015 Issue # 96, Newsletter #1626



Are you being manipulated and don't know it? A superb article on husband-wife relations and social relations in general is offered by Junaid Tahir in India. It's worth reading. It might save your marriage. Scroll to end.




Breaking News: November 1 Turkey's Islam oriented AKP won 316 seats while the secularist-Kurdish-Communist party CHP won 134. [Congratulations to Turkey from New Trend. What a big change! ]. Gulen's group, Turkish equivalent of CAIR, has been caught supporting Republican congressmen. See latest USA Today.

In Syria: October 31: The Islamic State, IS, captured Maheen city as it advanced towards the major Homs-Damascus road. BBC while reporting the loss of Maheen noted that IS has reached Sadad which puts it only 13 miles from the main road linking Damascus to Homs and northern cities. FIFTY regime Alawite troops were killed in Maheen. Hizbullah is desperately trying to open the road way up in the north to Aleppo which IS cut earlier. No success yet.

October 30: Regime and Russian air forces massacred civilians in the Damascus suburb of Douma, killing 60 and injuring hundreds. The situation is desperate as mujahideen have no anti-aircraft weapons. Russians bombing northern Aleppo have killed more than 40 people, mostly civilians.

USA has sent special forces to Syria to stop the advancing IS forces. Al-Nusra is doing well in IDLIB and LATTAKIA. FSA is fighting east of Hama and in the southern areas of Derayya and Quneitra, and in the Damascus suburbs.

[If these advances continue, IS may capture most of Syria. No wonder the Assad regime wants peace talks - editor]

Pakistan: Please do not send to New Trend comments on the divorce of Imran Khan and Reham. Gossip is forbidden in Islam.





National Islamic Shoora of Jamaat al-Muslimeen

October 31, 2015
Alternative Narrative on the Middle East: Palestine is Central. Zionism is Racism.
African American Experience & Palestinian Trauma: Connectivity and understanding.


Greensboro, North Carolina, witnessed the unfolding of the global narrative of Islam about Palestine and the Middle East at a nine-hour long exchange of research studies on the central issues. Jamaat al-Muslimeen's best minds came to gether to share their in-depth findings on Palestine, Masjid al-Aqsa and the inability of US media to report the authentic events and tragic incidents occurring and recurring in Palestine.

Here is the outline of the daylong session of Jamaat al-Muslimeen's research and activist offerings:
  1. What do the Qur'an and hadith say about Palestine and Masjid al-Aqsa? [Imam Badi Ali, North Carolina.]

  2. Issues of Israeli "legitimacy" and Islamic authenticity defining Palestine & America. [Dr. Kaukab Siddique, Pennsylvania.]

  3. Black America's Authentic Voices have historically stood by Palestine. [Br. Benjamin, Greensboro, North Carolina.]

  4. Video essay on "Muslim" collaboration with the instruments of repression In America: Slide show on Islamic critics of the Zionist regime in America. [Nadrat Siddique, Washington, DC.]

  5. Police brutality in America on unarmed Black people and police cooperation with Israel. [Br. Abu Talib, New York city.]

  6. Don't Forget Muslim Political Prisoners. Condemnation of police brutality. [Br. Ali Randall & Sis. Ayesha Jones, Virginia]

    Imam Khalil Abdur Rahman brought the latest news of Imam Jamil Abdullah al-Amin whose health is deteriorating and who is now incarcerated in Pennsylvania.

    Participants volunteered to write to Muslim political prisoners incarcerated across America.

    AhmedAbdelSattar.org

    FreeZiyadYaghi.info

    FreeMasoudKhan.net


  7. Sis. Ashira's letter to President Obama urging him to release Pakistani American prisoner Masaud Khan khan received support and help from Shoora members.

    Sis. Ashira urged Muslims to give top importance to spirituality and to improve their nearness to Allah and the Sunna of the Prophet, pbuh. [Baltimore, Maryland.]

  8. Br. Abdur Rahman supported the move to carry da'wah messages to non-Muslims across Baltimore and other cities where supporters of Jamaat al-Muslimeen are active.

    [Jamaat adviser Shamim Siddiqi had urged the shoora to organize the da'wa of Islam with relevant literature.]


Imam Ali Siddiqui led prayers for zuhr/Asr and maghrib/isha and prayed for peace in Palestine and asked for Allah's solace for the victims of Israeli brutalities and police brutalities.

Delicious halal meals were provided by the local community sisters.

Du'as were made for the recovery of Br. Solano from surgery and thanks to Allah were given for the early return of Br. Ali Randall from unjust imprisonment.




Resolutions October 31, 2015 Jamaat al-Muslimeen National Majlis-e-Shura

[These resolutions reflect the viewpoints of the Muslims of America as understood by the representatives of the Jamaat across America.]
  1. Support for Palestine is an Islamic duty, as seen in Qur'an and hadith.

  2. We urge Muslims to be united in their support for Palestine, because Palestine can unite all Muslims

  3. We are against Zionism and racism throughout the World.

  4. Blacks and Muslims should united in their struggle for justice.

  5. We urge the release of all political prisoners and prisoners of conscience. Most shameful is the silence imposed on the suffering of Dr. Omar Abdel Rahman.

  6. We oppose the oppression and exploitation of Muslim women worldwide.

  7. We hold the Indian government responsible for the rapes of women in India.

  8. We condemn police brutality against Black people and the Israeli terrorism against Palestinians.

  9. We call for an independent investigation into the influx of drugs into the Black community.

  10. Leaders of the Black community should come up with solutions for the widespread incidents of police brutality which are central to understanding injustice in America,.

  11. We urge young people to go to Palestine, Africa, and other parts of the world to see what goes on globally..

  12. No real change is possible without adherence to the Qur'an and Sunnah.





Br. Ali Randall [left] with Imam Khalil, Jamil al-Amin's representative, after the shoora in Greensboro.

 Br Ali Randall with Imam Khalil




Our America

 Our America

Britain secures release of Guantanamo prisoner Shaker Aamer
by Karin Friedemann [Boston]

After more than 13 years detained without charge or trial in Guantánamo Bay, Shaker Aamer, 46, has finally been released! His plane touched down at Biggin Hill airfield Friday afternoon, October 30. He told supporters, "The very first thing I want is a cup of coffee, then for a doctor to look me over."

His wife, a British citizen, was pregnant with their fourth child when Aamer, originally from Saudi Arabia and a British resident, went to Afghanistan in 2002 to do charity work. He was captured by anti-Taliban Northern Alliance bounty hunters, who sold him to US troops. He was imprisoned in Afghanistan before being moved to Guantanamo, where he engaged in hunger strikes to protest his confinement. He was violently force fed through a tube up his nose. He was cleared for release in 2007 but the US continued to detain him.

His haunting voice could be heard on 60 Minutes in November of 2013, as he yelled, "Please, we are tired. Are you just going to leave us here to die? Tell the world the truth. Open up the place!" through the wall of his cell, knowing that newsmedia were there. The reporter (Barbara Walters?) seemed genuinely shocked that the detainee spoke perfect English, and at the level of his despair. [ YouTube.com/watch?v=HVDgz4v8WZY ]

As an English speaking inmate of Guantanamo, he served a valuable role in organizing prisoners and negotiating with the US government to end hunger strikes before people died. However, after gaining false promises from officials, Aamer was put into solitary confinement. His sudden release came as a blessed surprise.

His family eagerly awaits his arrival. His daughter, said to be an A level student, whom he has not seen since she was 4, turned 18 just days before his release. He has never before met his youngest child, a son who is now 13.

Amnesty International, which was supportive of Aamer's release, asks: "Why was he detained at all, and why was his release delayed when he was twice cleared for transfer out of Guantánamo, in 2007 and in 2009? And what role did the UK play in his detention and treatment? Shaker Aamer says he was repeatedly abused in both Afghanistan and in Guantánamo. His claims of interrogation and abuse in Afghanistan in the presence of MI5 officers highlight once again the need for an independent judge-led inquiry into allegations of UK involvement in torture and rendition."

On October 11, 2015 after the Mail on Sunday reported that Shaker Aamer had stated in a phone call to his lawyer, Clive Stafford Smith, that he was hunger striking to protest his constant and ongoing abuse, and his fears that, due to his weakened state, he wouldn't live to see his family again, We Stand With Shaker's directors, Joanne MacInnes and Andy Worthington, author of "The Guantanamo Files," set up a new campaign, Fast For Shaker, in which celebrities, MPs and members of the public were encouraged to show solidarity with Shaker by pledging to undertake a hunger strike of their own for a minimum of 24 hours, on a day of their choosing.

It could be that the UK really did not want to touch this issue of their involvement in the US torture rendition program, but this coalition of activists generated enough public attention to force their government to act decisively to return Aamer back home. Somehow, between October 11 and October 30, something magical happened. People suddenly passionately threw themselves into caring about this man, who has been simmering on the back burner for over a decade.

It may seem completely bizarre but the gimmick that proved so effective was a 20 foot tall blow up dummy with Aamer's smiling face, dressed in an orange jumpsuit. His shirt bore the words: "FREE SHAKER AAMER. CLEARED FOR RELEASE. STILL IN GUANTANAMO. WHY?" Many many celebrities and political officials posed with it for photographs holding signs saying, "I STAND WITH SHAKER" and "I FAST WITH SHAKER." [See photos at westandwithshaker.org] Maybe because this street theater tactic was so bizarre and comical, it made publicly talking about illegal rendition possible and gave the detainee a friendly funny human image.

Upon his release, Aamer made this public statement: "The reason I have been strong is because of the support of people so strongly devoted to the truth. If I was the fire to be lit to tell the truth, it was the people who protected the fire from the wind. My thanks go to Allah first, second to my wife, my family, to my kids and then to my lawyers who did everything they could to carry the word to the world. I feel obliged to every individual who fought for justice not just for me but to bring an end to Guantánamo. Without knowing of their fight I might have given up more than once; I am overwhelmed by what people have done by their actions, their thoughts and their prayers and without their devotion to justice I would not be here in Britain now. The reality may be that we cannot establish peace but we can establish justice. If there is anything that will bring this world to peace it is to remove injustice."

"We also recall the 112 other men still held at Guantánamo, and note that 52 of them have also, like Shaker, been approved for release by high-level US government review processes. We call for them also to be released as soon as possible," stated Andy Worthington.




Our America
Officer Ben Fields Fired for Assaulting 15 Year Old Girl
by Sis. Aisha [New York city.]

New York City - Rogue safety school officer Ben Fields, who assaulted a non-compliant 15 year old student, was fired as of October 28, 2015. The student, who has not been identified, has retained a prominent South Carolina politico, Todd Rutherford, for her attorney. This student suffered rug burns and other more serious injuries that have caused her to wear her arm in a cast.

The incident began with the girl disrupting her class by talking on her cell phone. Her teacher, who is also Black, asked her to leave but, she refused. I went to private schools, including an Islamic one, as a child and there you got spanked by teachers. However, this was elementary school. Corporal punishment ended in public schools long ago. Public school teachers are not allowed to physically touch a student in anyway. This teacher had no other recourse but, to call for backup.

However, if a parent had done anything much less than what this rogue officer had done to this student, she would have been put in child services and her parents in jail! I understand that this officer's firing is the appropriate response, which is rarely taken in these incidents but, how about indictments for assault and endangering the welfare of a child? How about reinstating the suspended Spring Valley High student who tried to help stop this assault in the first place?

My brother was very critical of this Black teacher calling an officer on a Black student, knowing the disrespectful way officers treat Blacks. I understand that critique. It would be great if there was some protocol in place to handle these types of disagreeable students without involving law enforcement of any kind. However, it cannot involve physically restraining students of any kind. Police officers arresting students, in general, is disturbing.

Also, Community Cop co-host Noel Leader has stated over the years the rampant steroid use of many NYPD officers. Some people have questioned if Officer Fields was doped up on steroids. It is a real possibility. Many films capturing these assualts involve overly muscular officers.

Although television shows like to have viewers believe that the internal affairs unit and the prosecutors have a contentious relationship with the police department it is quite the opposite. This is why prosecutors fail to arrest and indict police officers for criminal acts. I hope that this case does not end merely with this officer's termination.

(Courtesy of Yahoo! News)

Joe Madison Tells P Diddy to Kiss His.......

Joe Madison is a talk show host of his own self-titled Joe Madison Show on Sirius Satellite Radio. I have listened to him for a few minutes and have found him to be a crotchety old man. My opinion really took shape when he went after Sean "P Diddy or Puff Daddy" Combs, recently, for saying that voting in America is a scam, at an October 17th music conference.

P Diddy is a young African-American man who is wealthy beyond belief and can still face the type of obstacles that poorer Blacks in America face! He stated that he really believed in the Rock The Vote campaigns but, realizes that voting process is not as empowering as many people would have us think. P Diddy, a founder of Citizen Change, a political group whose slogan was "Vote or Die", stated that much of what politicians have to say do not relate to the Black community. However, he still encouraged people to vote in next year's Presidential election.

As I have stated before, ONLY the Black American community RELIES on voting to do for us what we can do for ourselves. This voting is apart of the assimilation process, which has been rammed down our throats by White liberals with the help of sambo Black "leadership." (Note: Sambo was the real turncoat character in Uncle Tom's Cabin, while Uncle Tom was beaten to death for not revealing the location of runaway slaves!).

Granted the bullseye on the Black community's back looms larger than ever but, other so-called communities of color have still been able to establish themselves without benefit of voting drives. A lot of what they do, extol others toward self-determination and self-reliance, is lacking in the Black community and that is no accident!

The political, educational, and judicial systems are ways for the White oppressor to maintain control of his/her surroundings. Joe Madison is dumb, deaf and blind and only mimics and regurgitates what others before him have done without thinking about it.

However, in the Holy Qur'an, Allah(swt) warns us about assimilating with any oppressor or else we can be accused of being just like them (11:113).

Also, the Qur'an warns us not to do things merely because our ancestors or prominent people did those things (33:67). We have to think about it. [Source: Vibe]




Research

 Research

by Junaid Tahir

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Examples of manipulative behaviour

We are all unique and as such, our behaviour will be diverse as well. When it comes to manipulative behaviour there are numerous variations but there is a common framework within which most manipulative behaviour can be identified.

I have put together a list of common examples of manipulative behaviour. By its very nature- manipulative behaviour is sneaky, deceptive and devious. This is why many people on the receiving end of manipulative behaviour are aware that something isn't quite right but they can't come up with any specifics. This can lead the 'victim' to doubt their perceptions and sometimes wonder if they are going crazy.

The Cause of Manipulative Behaviour

Many manipulative people learn these dysfunctional ways of behaving when they are children. A common cause is when parents are authoritarian and leave no room for their children's opinions and input. Their children's natural emotional development is stifled and they are suppressed by strict rules and a general attitude of 'do as you are told or there will be negative consequences'. A child faced with this rigid environment needs to be resourceful and come up with clever ways to 'get their own back'. This will include passive-aggressive behaviours to try regain some control. Such as - they may rebel in a less obvious way by stealing money from their parents, lying or being devious in some other way. Then when their parents are telling them what to do, because they aren't allowed to directly express anger or disagreement, they can comfort themselves by knowing they have 'harmed' their strict parent in some other way. Psychologically, this restores some sort of balance for the child and helps them cope with the perceived unfairness of the situation. This dysfunctional way of dealing with perceived emotional threat then gets carried over into adult relationships and this is where the trouble begins...

The Introduction to the manipulative 'main course'

Manipulative abusers tend to dwell in extremes. They often start off being extremely thoughtful, considerate and attentive. They put you on a pedestal and put in a lot of effort. This is part of the grooming process. Getting you high on the feeling of flattery and feeling special is part of the manipulation. Once they have you emotionally 'hooked' they have a stronger position from which to start manipulating and controlling you. In some cases, manipulators lack empathy and part of the extreme behaviour involves them acting the part of a caring person. As they can lack empathy, they do not feel in touch with their emotions and have to go through the motions of acting in a way that they believe a kind, caring person would. This is when the behaviour can seem a little extreme and unnatural. For example if they are excessively polite and over the top when it comes to complimenting you and giving gifts it could be a sign of trouble. Beware of extremes.

Examples of manipulative behaviour
  1. Minimising

    Manipulative behaviour involves minimising its effects on others. When the recipient of a nasty or insensitive comment speaks up, the manipulative person, instead of being concerned that they have upset someone, will counter with the reply, "I was only joking. Can't you take a joke?" or "You are SO sensitive!". This completely minimises the emotional impact and leaves the recipient with no where to go. They are left feeling they are to blame.

    Another example, "I am feeling so stressed today" (hoping for sympathy and support). Manipulators response: "You don't know what stress is!". If you get upset, you will invariably be told "I was only joking!". There is no validation, empathy or support. Manipulators can also be entrenched narcissists.

  2. Never accepting blame

    Manipulative people blame everyone else, they very rarely accept their part to play in life situations. Their behaviour is often seen by the as a response to something someone else has done. If they hadn't annoyed me, it would never have happened. If they had listened, I would need to act this way etc. They like to absolve themselves from any personal responsibility for their actions. A good example: you trip over their shoes/bag etc in the night as they have placed them too near the doorway. When you fall over them you are blamed by the manipulator because you should watch where you are going or you should have turned on the light (the fact that they left their belongings where people walk is not considered or mentioned).

  3. Non-verbal signs of manipulative behaviour

    Eye rolling, sighing, head shaking - these are some of the typical behaviours exhibited by a manipulator. They show disapproval or disappointment without having to say a word and leave the victim feeling shame and guilt. It is all part of the process of making another person doubt themselves - a slow-drip erosion of their confidence occurs over time.

  4. Gaslighting

    This manipulative behaviour can easily make a person feel they are going crazy. Gaslighting involves planting false information as true in order to make another person doubt themselves and their perceptions. This is cleverly done over a slow period and can leave a person confused and unsure of themselves. Your partner may swear they told you about the party on the weekend and, even though they didn't in reality, the more time goes on, the less confidence you have in your version. There needs to be a deliberate, dishonest aspect to it — in other words, there needs to be lying. Simply telling someone they can't take a joke doesn't qualify as lying, nor gaslighting, nor abuse.Here are signs of gaslighting:

    1. You are constantly second-guessing yourself

    2. You ask yourself, "Am I too sensitive?" a dozen times a day.

    3. You often feel confused and even crazy.

    4. You can't understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren't happier.

    5. You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.

    6. You start lying to avoid the put downs and reality twists.

    7. You have trouble making simple decisions.

    8. You have the sense that you used to be a very different person - more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.

    9. You feel hopeless and joyless.

    10. You feel as though you can't do anything right.

    11. You wonder if you are a "good enough" girlfriend/ wife/employee/ friend; daughter.


  5. Thwarting your efforts/efficiency

    Behind the scenes, your manipulative partner might be finding subtle ways to thwart and frustrate you. This secret, and the ensuing frustration for you, allows them to feel in control in a passive-aggressive manner. For example - they 'forget' to tell you about an important phone message and as a result you miss an important meeting. When they know something is important to you, they will adopt subtle behaviour that provokes an emotional response from you. One of the ways they control and manipulative is by knowing your weaknesses and pressing those emotional buttons. For example - I dated a man who would be strict with my dog and shout at my dog, knowing that it would upset me. The dog became a legitimate target for eliciting emotion in me and thereby allowing him to feel in control. When I reacted, it would 'obviously' result in blame being placed upon me and how overly sensitive I am.

    If you are in a rush to get somewhere, a manipulative person might drag their heels and delay you even further. Everything is done so subtly that it is hard to point to specific evidence and ultimately the sane person begins to unravel while the manipulator feels more powerful. Withholding information is a very common tactic, manipulators revel in the fact that they have information and that you are none-the-wiser.

  6. Telling you that you "don't listen"

    A very arrogant tactic that places the manipulator in the 'righteous' position and assumes that the listener is not understanding correctly. A sane balanced person will also look at their own communication skills instead of blaming another for not listening correctly. This serves to keep you diminished and undermine your confidence. It keeps the manipulator in the 'power seat'.

  7. Leading statements

    "Don't you think that..."

    "Why have you done it that way?"

    "I am wondering why you...."

    "I suppose you are going to..."

    "I thought that was what you wanted..."

    Manipulators will do their best to change you subtly to accommodate the way they see the world. This ranges from how you should dress, who you should see, how you should do the housework, your shopping habits (buy this product, not that one), he way you bring up the children, how you behave around others, how and when you need to be available when they want to speak to you...the list is endless.

  8. How to deal with manipulation

    Be assertive. No one has the right to tell you what to do or how to do it. Use assertive script to let them know what they do/say that you dislike. For example...

    When you..... criticise me, I feel.....undermined, so what I would like you to do is .....stop judging me and try to say more positive things.

    Ask questions, this makes the manipulator explain themselves and think through what they are saying. It also gives you a chance to challenge them.

    Dont accept statements, reframe them as a question or repeat for clarity...are you asking me if....never allow them to foist their views on to you.

    When dealing with manipulative people, answer questions only, not statements. Train your ears to recognize the difference. You must learn to ask the Yes/No question, but not get tricked by a disguised question. Repeat the last 3 or 4 words of the statement back to the manipulator, forcing him/her to admit it was a question.

    Ask for time - I want to think about it

    Let things slide. Don't respond to bad behavior. Don't reply defensively and avoid saying "I'm sorry but..." You can choose not to fight by using one of the following replies:
    "That's my decision"
    "I know you're unhappy, but that's the way it is"
    "I'll have to think about that"
    "You seem upset"
    "We'll talk later when you aren't so upset."
    "We don't always have to agree."
    "I prefer it that way"
    "You're right" (and drop the subject)

    How to protect yourself from emotional manipulation



    Manipulation is not the same as influence. We all use influence with other people to advance our goals, and this is one of the hallmarks of healthy social functioning. Influence recognizes the rights and boundaries of other people, and it is based on direct, honest communication. Influence is one way we have of functioning effectively in the world. Influence recognizes the integrity of the other person, including the right not to go along with the attempted persuasion. Manipulation, on the other hand, depends on covert agendas and an attempt to coerce another person into giving in. Even though it may appear that the manipulator is strong and in control, there is usually insecurity under the facade. The tendency to exploit others and disregard their rights is a sign of unhealthy personality functioning. In fact, people who manipulate others have difficulty in maintaining good interpersonal relationships.

    References:

    2015-11-02 Mon 17:06:16 ct

    NewTrendMag.org