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Wife's "Obedience": Men and Women are Each Other's Guardians
Children who do not see their mothers respected as Decision-makers can be harmed mentally
[Ref: Our discussion of the Qur'an 4:34]

I am happy to see that someone has been mature enough and felt secure enough about their manhood to speak out .....finally...... for once........ about the topic. "The wife's obedience to her husband issue".
There is not a doubt in my mind that the wife as well as the husband should have equal respect for each others feelings, concerns and desires. However, this idea of the husband treating the wife as a child and expecting her to be blindly obedient, and childlike as opposed to being mature minded and an adult as he, breeds really an unsettlling and non-productive relationships in families and the society as a whole. Children reared in that kind of an environment lose respect for the mother's opinion and fail to trust her decision-making ability in the husband's absence. Allah has said that husbands and wives are the protectors of each other. If the wife never gets to be considered as an adult and equal partner, her ability to make sound judgements is impaired. It is only through sharing, respecting and mutual consultations, giving and sharing that husbands and wives can grow into healthy, meaningful, loving relationships.
I think that part of the problems that are in the Muslim world stem from the fact that men do not seek the Muslim women's views. Women process information differently than men .......they also think and reason differently from that of men. These assets are valuable when brought to the discussion table with men's ideals. This creates a wholistic view of things and it enhances relationships, builds better, more productive families and sound societies. Allah has made husbands and wives partners. A good businessman want a wise partner in his camp so that he can be successful. Yet, some Muslim men fail to realize the benefit and value of the Muslim women's opinions and ability to aide in decision making.
This topic really needs more research and group discussions in the Muslim community. I hope you will continue to add to your previous discussion on an ongoing basis. Muslim men really need to hear this from other Muslim men.
Thanks again for your eye opening, thought provoking and most beneficial contribution to the topic. Sincerely,
Wa salaam, Amatullah V. Abdul-Karim

2003-08-02 Sat 19:14ct